Simply Simpatico

Date October 23, 2007

Lima is beautiful in the spring, when it’s not too hot, I was told. Machu Pichu is a must see, too.

My visits to the Green Zone are always a joy when I pass through checkpoints manned by Peruvian troops, with whom I have established a rapport. Sure, they are sticklers for rules, but unlike Ugandan troops — who have the warmth of armed robots — the Peruvians are simply simpatico.

They are a friendly group with easy smiles. They’ll chat you up while being frisked — a pad down with benefits. They’ll engage you in conversation once they discover you speak their language.

The experience isn’t nearly the same with other multinational forces. The Ugandan troops are often terse. While not mean, their reticence often makes one feel like one of the many sheep being herded through Baghdad’s many checkpoints.

(Yes, I’m obviously new to blogging. Somtimes I share too much. The blogosphere has reacted and pointed out my folly. Yes, I can be pushy. I can also be wrong. I’v'e edited this post — and have shut down the comment feature.)

197 Responses to “Simply Simpatico”

  1. Aaron said:

    You seem like a pretty arrogant little guy. Do you realize what these soldiers are up against? Wow.

  2. Don Surber said:

    I’ve been in the newspaper business 25+ years. I am sorry, but you come off reading like some jerk. Sometimes people get the treatment they deserve. The soldier has a far more dangerous job than you. Did it not occur to you that he’s a bigger target — and that he protects you?

  3. mcg said:

    You’re an idiot. Grow up. If you’re half the man you think you are you will seek out that soldier ASAP and apologize to him.

  4. Charlie said:

    Sorry dude. I have no clue who Knight Ridder is either. It’s not exactly a household word, is it?


  5. John Reeves said:

    And you wonder why people don’t like journalists? Maybe you should have tried being a decent human being.

    Maybe, just maybe, you and your little company aren’t as important as you think you are.

  6. DRJ said:

    I guess you really showed him. Too bad you showed a lot more about yourself.

  7. Russell W. said:

    More evidence that journalists are conceited little scum. I’ve never heard of “Knight Ridder” either, but I’ve heard of the NYT, LAT, and WaPo. So no, it’s not that everyone else is an ignoramus. It’s just that you’re not well-known enough to have that inflated sense of entitlement.

    Get over yourself.

  8. Grey said:

    You, sir, are an ass.

  9. SC said:

    How idiotic is this reporter? He blogs to the world that he’s an arrogant jerk who pulls a “do you know who I am” act in front of a soldier who’s job is to protect him. Simultaneously, he proves that the he and his media lackies are a bunch of arrogant jerks who hate the military, have short fuses, are incapable of criticism, and have an amazing chip on their shoulder.

    Keep this up and the only thing people will know “Knight Ridder” for is their idiotic, biased reporting and scumbucket reporters.

    Rot in hell, mainstream media.

  10. Chris M said:

    “I made it known that I was jotting down his name.”

    Someday, you will look at this blog entry and cringe with embarrassment. For your sake, that day cannot come soon enough.

  11. Letalis Maximus, Esq. said:

    Get over yourself. Your journalism degree impresses none of us. Unlike Uganda and Peru, the United States teaches her soldiers to think for themselves. Hence they are the best, most effective soldiers in the world. When the going gets rough, the Ugandan and Peruvian soldiers are as likely as not to run and hide. Not that young American. He will almost certainly stay and fight at his post and die to save the likes of you.

    You should get down on your knees and pray to your god in thanks that American soldiers are between you and people in Iraq who would drill holes in your joints and cut your head clean off your body. Here’s hoping, for your sake of whoever may love you, that you don’t get outside the wire after dark.

  12. Beej said:

    Yes, Knight Ridder must be pretty proud today.

    Why are you even there bothering the soldiers? You surely went with your angle and your story in mind. The facts wouldn’t matter. Sit it your room and type it up.

    Glad you got a story anyway, Mr. Big Man.

  13. Chris said:

    I must say you are pretty arrogant. You do realize who you are condescending to are your fellow countrymen?

  14. The Mongbat said:

    Wow, man. That was really tough, when you turned to your bodyguard and said “When ya got nothin’ to lose… ya do what it takes.”

    He nodded because he’s paid to nod.

    That was some risk you took, giving an American soldier a hard time while he’s trying to not get killed and such.

    Your tale is the stuff of legend.

  15. Been there said:

    Wow. Too bad he didn’t deny you entry for being an ass.

  16. pst314 said:

    I second Don Surber and John Reeves. You are an excellent example of why the general public despises journalists.

  17. Lou Minatti said:

    Robert, I doubt very much that our soldiers are impressed by a prima donna flashing a press badge. Looks like you stepped in it this time, doesn’t it?

  18. xxx said:

    Wow, what an astonishing level of arrogance. People are getting killed over there every day at checkpoints like this, and you throw a hissy fit when asked for proper identification. They are only trying to keep people like you alive.

    Plus, Knight Ridder is a second tier news organization. It is unlikely many people outside of the media business would have heard of it.

  19. John G said:

    You, my reporter friend, seem to be a horse’s patoot.

    How do you think that soldiers at a check-point are supposed to “screen” folks going into and out of a “secure zone” unless the folks can produce decent ID. I hope that you avoid injury while you learn the ropes in a combat zone

  20. Max Headroom said:

    I wish he would have kicked your sniveling whiney little ass all the way back to Sacramento. You should rent the movie ‘A Few Good Men’ and listen to the Jack Nicholson diatribe at the climax of the court scene. He is speaking directly to you and your backstabbing traitorous colleagues at Night Rider and elsewhere in the mainstream media, and he is absolutely in the right. God help us.

  21. Alan Williams said:

    Newspapers and the groups that own them are mostly obsolete. Get a real job or go back to giving blow jobs. Sorry Fucker.

  22. Exurban Jon said:

    You ridicule a kid for not being familiar with Knight Ridder. After you misspell Machu Picchu. Smooth.

    I served four years in the Navy, after which I got my J-school degree, summa cum laude. For some reason, I’m much prouder of the Navy part.

  23. r cone said:

    What a tool. You’re so clueless you actually thought this would make you look good? Wow. No wonder MSM is held in such high regard…

  24. Gaijin Biker said:

    You’re an idiot, you little, little man. And you don’t even have your facts right: The TV show was called “Knight Rider”, not “Night Rider”.

  25. Will F. said:

    You have an assignment in Baghdad, and the best you can blog about (the event that made the biggest impression on you during this day, I guess) is the snit and bluster you exhibited because a soldier doing his job caused you a little inconvenience? You were supposed to have additional ID…you didn’t. It’s his job to identify threats, riff-raff, and useless bystanders. In my estimate, he did a great job of making a correct ID in your case. Get over yourself.

  26. Jack Sagerian said:

    Having served in the military for 20 years,U.S.Army 7yrs,U.S.Navy 13yrs,I’d say you were lucky not to get bitch slapped like the arrogant little pissant that you are.
    You love the Peruvians and Ugandans soldiers,eh?Try going to their shit hole countries and acting that way to the military or the police.You’d be under the jail.
    reporters…..just another word for anus.

  27. James Mabry said:

    Go to hell, B Calvan. Go to hell.

  28. Joanne Jacobs said:

    I worked for Knight Ridder for many years (for the San Jose Mercury News). Many people knew the newspapers but not the chain and it was very common to hear it pronounced “Knight Rider” like the TV show.

    I’m surprised McClatchy is using ID from a defunct company. A media-savvy sentry might have found it suspicious that you claimed to be Knight-Ridder when there is no Knight-Ridder.

    I’m also surprised at your telling an anecdote that makes you look like a pompous jerk.

  29. JoeS said:

    You are not good enough to stand in that young hero’s $#!7

    Maybe your pathetic press pass will help you get picked up at St Paul Airport.

    Knight Ridder needs to find some real men to report on the war.

  30. IDaman said:

    You come off as the arrogant little pissant that you are. It’s crap like this that has caused Americans to lose faith in the mainstream media. You should treat those soldiers with the respect they deserve and that you only wish you could command.

  31. ExNavyDoc said:

    Boy, am I glad my brother spent a year in Baghdad, just so he could protect arrogant jerk-offs like you.

    That soldier should have proned you out face-first in the Iraqi dirt and slapped some flexicuffs on you until things got sorted out.

    Of course, being a trained professional, unlike some so-called “journalists”, he did not.

    Count your blessings, asshat.

  32. KG2V said:

    I may only be a support person for one of the TV networks, but it’s folks like you who give us a bad name..

    Being media doesn’t make you God

  33. Jll3 said:

    Must be tough to have to put up with so many people thinking you acted like a pompous jerk.

    Of course, if you hadn’t been one - if instead you’d been polite and actually thought about trying to make this soldier’s life a bit easier and more pleasant, you wouldn’t have had the chance to grandstand and impress your security guard. (Who most likely had to restrain a smile at how much of a pompous jerk you were.) I’m sure he had a good story to share with his friends, and I’m sure you figured prominently in it… though probably not in the role you think you should be playing.

  34. Tailburger said:

    Dude, you should have just kicked his hillbillie ass. Night Rider is the most awesome show in the history of TV. You could have beat his ass down and then called in K.I.T.T. to throw some Baghdad gravel up on him. Those jarhead dumbasses have no respect for you or the Hoff. At least those Ugandan guys know not to mess with your obvious credentials, or your street cred. With the kind of incompetence that gets into the military nowadays, I’m just glad that Gomer’s buddy on the other end of the radio knew about Night Rider. That show really is bigger than the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times. Next time, tell him that you’re not only taking down names, but you, K.I.T.T. and the Hoff will be also kicking some Marine ass.

  35. Jim Stanton said:

    It is part of your job to know what ID you need to get around. Why were you ignorant?

    It is not that soldier’s job to know the holding company for every newspaper. It is his job to let people through with two forms of valid ID. He could have simply turned you around but he swallowed your attitude and exercised judgment and let you through.

    On a side note, you do realize that you come off as a rather self-important spoiled ass and not someone doing what it takes when he has nothing to lose.

  36. Hasselhoff said:

    Just because you have a talking car, that doesn’t give you the right to be a jerk.

  37. Dan Rather said:

    At my very worse moments, I have never in my life behaved in such a non-professional manner as you have described. Frankly, young man - I can assume that only an immature prick would act in such a despicable manner - you should ask for a transfer back to the States. In Iraq you are endangering not only your own person, but innocent bystanders who may be in proximity to you the next time you pull such an outrageous act.

  38. Token Observer said:

    The world is laughing at you.

  39. Cardinals Nation said:

    Hey, Asshat. Why not just follow the f-ing rules? It’s a lot simpler. Your little rock-star-inspired-don’t-you-know-who-i-am temper temper tantrum might work at your trendy little clubs in “the City”, but out in the real world it makes you look like the punk you are. Knight Rider? Are you serious? It ain’t exactly a household word outside of..well, your rent-controlled apartment. Now if you were all grown up and worked for someone like AP, CNN, Fox or BBC that might have some pull.

    And the most pathetic part is you write about the whole thing as if you’ve actually got a point.


  40. Jason said:

    What the hell is your problem? If you want into the green zone, it is your responsibility to make sure you have the correct ID before you even attempt to gain admission. And you come off as an elitist jerk. I’ve never heard of knight ridder, and I have advanced degrees and have read newspapers daily for most of my life. And of course, like the typical liberal/leftist journalist, you are as negative as possible about american soldiers. Anti-american, liberal prick.

  41. Bob Franklin said:

    The sad thing is that you clearly don’t realize what an ass you were. Anyone reading this will come to the conclusion that you were in the wrong and could use some manners lessons. The fact that you blogged about it as if the soldiers were the bad guys shows you lack the judgement to be a quality journalist.

  42. Not a Yank said:

    It is impossible to best the comments in pointing out what a self absorbed arrogant pissant you are. Some where in life you missed all the lessons on humility and humanity.

    If you want to be a war reporter, I suggest you go read the biographies of Ernie Pyle and Richard Harding Davis. They were reporters not assholes.

  43. Mario Tevlicie said:

    Maybe you will understand the gravity of our situation when an official diplomat of the local hajji tribe is field skinning your gay lover from head to toe and threatening your next. Or, maybe you’ll actually be in the field when a member of the durka durka social club burns a kid alive so that the Dad will take a suicide bomb/car to check point to avoid loosing more children will you get the Drift.

    You are a self absorbed lifeless cat turd. If you ever feel a sense of self worth after today, please find a way to kill yourself. You are the lowest of tooth scum.

  44. Citizen Grim said:

    Nothing to lose? How about your life, when the next car behind you turns out to be a suicide car trying to bully his way through the checkpoint?

    … and you clowns wonder why independent journalists are running rings around you…

  45. Holmwood said:

    I was going to call you an arrogant ass. Then I see your entire readership beat you to it.

    So I’ll say this. Congratulations on starting a blog and exposing yourself, unedited, to the world. I hope you keep it up. I’m glad you’re over there covering the news in Baghdad, and I hope you and the soldiers guarding you stay safe.

    Think about what you wrote, and how you sounded, though.

  46. RangersLeadTheWay said:

    He’s sitting out there waiting to take a bullet or bomb on your behalf. He’s paid a tenth of what you make. He’s seen more hardship in a year of service than you will in your entire lifetime.

    You are in a war zone. You are not armed. You cannot protect yourself. You cannot protect this soldier. He can protect you. Nothing you do or say or write is going to help this soldier and his buddies survive this deployment. You are a nobody to men with too much work to do.

    Sir, check your attidude. Now. Pay attention to details regarding security and check your ego in Kuwait or you will be killed in Iraq. I am serious.

  47. Dexter Westbrook said:

    I just wish the soldier had said, “Knight Ridder? It doesn’t exist any more. Whatcha got next, a credential from the Washington Star?”

  48. Kerry said:

    From the particulars you recount of this encounter I’d say the American soldiers are “the best”, not the worst. The most professional and disciplined of the lot you interacted with.

    I’m rather incredulous that you had the naivete(?) to expect to actually waltz into the Green Zone, one of the most security conscious enclaves on the planet, with a mere flourish of you press accreditation and little else. At the risk of stating the obvious, you’re not posted to Sacramento at the moment. You’re in Baghdad.

    I’m even more amazed that McClatchy would post an apparently clueless rube to such a high profile posting as Baghdad. I guess I’ll have to look for your byline and read some of your copy to see if such faith is warranted.

    Nothing personal, but right now I have to question Howard Weaver’s competence in approving such a move.

  49. GoatChomper said:

    My my, Calvan…aren’t you oh so full of yourself, sneering at a soldier who spends his day with trivialities such as life and death while you name-drop to get around procedure.

    I’d bet you’d be the first one hiding behind his armor the moment you heard a gunshot.

    Typically, you probably can’t figure out why servicemen despise your profession.

  50. Yogagirl said:

    I live in Sacramento and I’m embarrassed that you write The Sacramento Bee. As a writer, I’m appalled by your pomposity. My brother served in the war and if this had happened to him I would have been angry. This exact situation is what gives amazing journalists a bad reputation. You came across as an arrogant jerk. There are enough jerks in journalism. We actually need people who report the facts and actually do their JOB!!

  51. Yogagirl said:

    I live in Sacramento and I’m embarrassed that you write for The Sacramento Bee. As a writer, I’m appalled by your pomposity. My brother served in the war and if this had happened to him I would have been angry. This exact situation is what gives amazing journalists a bad reputation. You came across as an arrogant jerk. There are enough jerks in journalism. We actually need people who report the facts and actually do their JOB!!

  52. Mama73 said:

    No one likes you Bobby.

    Shut up.

  53. Xennady said:

    You stupid bas$@#D. That soldier should have shot you. How did he know you weren’t a suicide bomber?

  54. Jenn Mikosz said:

    Boo-hoo-hoo. Print the soldier’s name, you spoiled bitch. You’ll make him a hero.

  55. Eric Bainter said:

    I’m glad you published this little anecdote, so we have a proper perspective on how to gauge your credibility in the rest of your writing (hint: it’s not good). In case you haven’t gotten the clue from the previous 39 comments, you acted like a spoiled, narcissistic little brat. Shame on you.

    Here’s another clue: outside your little circle of journalist pals, it ain’t important who McClatchy is, or who Knight-Ridder is, and most especially, who little Bobby Calvan is. In five, and 10, and 20, and 40 years from now, when that young man says “I served a tour (or more likely, several) in Iraq as a soldier” and you say “I did a reporter’s gig in Iraq,” I can tell you right now who will have respect and honor, and who will not.

    Michaal Yon you ain’t.

  56. Susan said:

    Wow. Congratulations. I don’t think I’ve ever read a blog comment section where so many people were in such complete agreement. It must be a new internet record.

  57. TallDave said:

    “With nothing to lose I decided to get pushy.

    When you’ve got nothing to lose, I told my security officer, you do what it takes. He nodded in agreement.”

    Nothing to lose, huh? How about your head? I hope you realize the guy you belittled is the one keeping the terrorists from sawing it off with a rusty knife for their own little “news” service.

    Have some respect for the people risking their lives guarding yours.

  58. Travis Pitts said:

    Simpatico?! You self important son of a bitch. Sipping sherry with Frazier and Niles again? I’d like to kick your ass. Hell, My pet turtle could kick you pansy ass.

    The only cure for overly softened pussies like you is a month with of reality camp. I’m going to run one. No food until your blisters bleed. No cell, computer, lavender panties, nothing but fucking work until you appreciate every breath you take.

    I pray you live the rest of your life in the countries you so admire.

  59. tahoblue said:

    “With nothing to lose I decided to get pushy.”

    Your lucky you werrn’t buried in some Liberal newspaper Box on the corner of Osama and Hussein streets with a surrendering Senator stuck up the waazoo.

  60. T G said:

    Everyone who things this yahoo is a pompous ass should send a link to this blog entry to the communications director at McClatchy

    I know the company I work for would be royally pissed if I blogged like this and identified my company so prominently.

    Of course, given the state of American media, they’ll probably give this di*k a promotion.

  61. Ron said:

    The sad thing is that if you get wounded or kidnapped in Iraq it will be young Americans like that trooper, risking their lives to save you. As an old gunny with service in 2 wars, I’d be tempted to let your butt rot. Pull your head out, take a breath of fresh air and apoligize.

  62. Steven Freeman said:

    Just wow. Thought I had been had by The Onion or Scrappleface, but I guess this guy is serious. I am guessing early 20’s, gay and not very well liked or popular at school. But, boy howdy does he have an impressive job now. Working for that big old McClatchy empire.

    “Revenues from continuing operations in the third quarter of 2007 were $540.3 million, down 9.2% from revenues from continuing operations of $595.1 million in 2006. Advertising revenues were $457.0 million, down 9.8% from advertising in 2006, and circulation revenues were $68.0 million, down 3.7%. The company benefited from continued strong cost reduction efforts in the 2007 quarter. Cash expenses were down 8.6% as the result of reduction in staffing levels, lower newsprint expense and continued vigilance in all other expenses.”

    Explains why they have the copy boy covering Iraq.

  63. Anga2010 said:

    Hi, this post is all about, REAL KNIGHT RIDDER REPORTERS. This post is awesome. My name is Robert and I can’t stop thinking about Knight Ridder Reporters. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

    1. Knight Ridder reporters are mammals.
    2. Knight Ridder reporters report ALL the time.
    3. The purpose of the Knight Ridder reporter is to flip out.


    Knight Ridder reporters can report about anything they want! Knight Ridder reporters report ALL the time and don’t even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this Knight Ridder reporter who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the Knight Ridder reporter reported about the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a Knight Ridder reporter totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

    And that’s what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    If you don’t believe that Knight Ridder reporters have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It’s an easy choice, if you ask me.

    Knight Ridder reporters are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can’t believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that’s a fact. Knight Ridder reporters are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can’t wait to start reporting next year. I love Knight Ridder reporters with all of my body (including my pee pee.)

  64. Exurban Jon said:

    Look at the bright side, kid. Every guard in the U.S. Military will know EXACTLY who you are from here on out.

    Have fun with that.

  65. David Vogel said:

    If I could offer a correction, you did not have “nothing to lose.” Fabritsio Kuattrokki, the Italian hostage who - “I will show you how an Italian dies” - while trying to tear off his hood and look into the eyes of the men who were about to put a bullet through his head, had nothing to lose.

    You, sir, had nothing to fear. The hostage defied his murderers because he knew nothing he did could make the consequences any worse. The reporter antagonized an American soldier because he knew nothing he did would have any consequences.

    The first is the act of a hero, the second the act of a child who feels brave for throwing pebbles at a well-trained guard dog.

  66. David Vogel said:

    Sorry, I failed to close the link. Hopefully this second post will do the trick.

  67. Arthur said:

    The amazing thing is not that there are 63 comments, almost all them hammering this clown, but that the clown didn’t realize that by posting his story that everybody who WASN’T a journalist would call him out. These MSM guys are in a universe all to themselves.

  68. Tincan Sailor said:

    The Sacramento Bee,now there is a real rag,and your job is???You my friend
    wouldnt make a pimple in Michael Yon’s ass!!!You know I’ll bet you troll West Capital ave and brag to all the hookers just how cool you really are…Hell
    the Fresno Bee,Modesto Bee,Sacramento Bee and the Idaho Statesman are
    all just so much fish wrap,crap rap…Simply a Simpleton or a REMF!!!

  69. David Vogel said:

    Bloody heck. Can’t figure out your markup. My first post should read:

    If I could offer a correction, you did not have “nothing to lose.” Fabritsio Kuattrokki, the Italian hostage who shouted defiance at his murderers - “I will show you how an Italian dies” - while trying to tear off his hood and look into the eyes of the men who were about to put a bullet through his head, had nothing to lose.

    You, sir, had nothing to fear. The hostage defied his murderers because he knew nothing he did could make the consequences any worse. The reporter antagonized an American soldier because he knew nothing he did would have any consequences.

    The first is the act of a hero, the second the act of a child who feels brave for throwing pebbles at a well-trained guard dog.

  70. Steven Freeman said:

    Bobby, the Cynthia Mckinney of reporters.

  71. Susan vanevans said:

    You arrogant, ignorant, little bitch.

    I wish you had been thrown out beyond the razor wire to fend for yourself. See how impressed the locals are with your press credentials.

  72. Ron said:

    OMG, what an a-hole. That soldier may save your life one day…soon!

  73. Antimedia said:

    ‘Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to blog about it and remove all doubt.

  74. Likm said:

    I give you credit for keeping the comments up and not deleting them. But you owe that soldier an apology and a brew. Grow up.

  75. chip said:

    To think that it’s people like this who provide us with “news” from Iraq.

    Or used to. Does anyone still trust the media?

  76. GeekSquad said:

    Steven Freeman?– well said!

    And can someone tell me what a Knight Ridder is?

    The McClatchy’s? Hoo Baby. They bought up a ton of newspapers just after it became apparent print was dead. I would point out at least their business model is consistent, they hired this arrogant twit.

  77. peace loving hippy type said:

    I bet you thought by peace loving hippy type I’d side with you. Wrong. Why don’t you drop that worthless press pass and go for a little run there Forest. Maybe you’ll find reality or maybe it will find you. Hungry, thirsty and getting your head sawed off. I’d probably still say tod bad. But, the world would be a better place without you.

  78. peace loving hippy type said:

  79. RRiley said:

    Calvan, with a single post you’ve accomplished two things thought to be impossible.

    First, you’ve gotten every single commenter to think you’re an ass.

    Second, you’ve made Rebecca Aguilar look reasonable and responsible.

    You’re just lucky Scott Thomas Beauchamp wasn’t on duty, he’d have shot you with a shoulder mounted Hellfire.

    (You make Beauchamp look reasonable and responsible, too.)

  80. GeekSquad said:

    And don’t forget to commend the American soldier for having the decency and intelligence in not being familiar with McClatchy/Knight Ridder. This soldier is smarter than John Kerry thinks he is!

  81. JorgXMcKie said:

    Well be-clowned, brave Front Page type!! Maybe you should have worn your snap-brim fedora and put your “Knight Ridder” PRESS card in the band so everyone would recognize your magnificent importance.

    Grow a pair, find that soldier, and apologize like a man. Then promise yourself not to be such a fool again.

  82. Glad I'm Not You said:


    I’m so glad I’m 42.

    When I was young and immature, like you, and I made an ass out of myself it was usually in a room with a Fire Marshal-rated capacity of under 100 people. Even if the place was full and each person told two friends what I did, I was still under the 300 mark of people I needed to avoid for a week. And since memories are short and someone else was bound to make an ass out of themselves in a relatively short amount of time it never really mattered that much. But you, Bobby, have the distinction of making an ass of yourself on the World Wide Web, which is currently accessable by just over 1.2 billion human beings. On top of that, your friends - and apparently rather plentiful enemies - can now copy-cut-paste your idiocy and keep it forever. And ever. And ever.

    Bobby, in the year 2065, when you are 80 or so, you will receive an email with this blog post in it. All of it. Each. And. Every. Word.

    I’m so glad I’m 42. And not you.

    Best of luck with that reporter thing.

  83. Tailburger said:

    Big Bob, whatever you do, don’t let these wussies make you take the comments down!!! You just let these dummies know that they will never stop the Night Rider or the Hoff! These comments will remain up–FOREVER–to let the world know that you, me, and K.I.T.T. don’t take this stuff. These comments are a badge of honor for you, dude! Just hang in through this first wave of non-believers and Hoff Nation will be behind you 100% !!!!!

  84. Fod said:

    Bobby, You said What’s the use of these media badges if people like you aren’t going to honor them?

    You know… I think the real problem here is people like you.

  85. Spade said:

    As somebody else said, you are no Michael Yon.

  86. Mark Slater said:

    You, sir, are an embarrassment. To your country, your paper, your gender, and your home state.

    Our attitude would be this–”how can we help you, soldier?”

    This young soldier stands guard for pieces of dirt like you. Men–and women–of honor would be delighted to buy this guy a beer on the way home. We’d talk about home. About sports. About why he serves.

    You, sir, aren’t good enough to look at him. You should be ashamed. Knight Ridder, for all your false pomposity, should fire your second-tier ass.

  87. Max said:

    Knight Ridder will forever be known as Night Rider. You’ve accomplished that much at least. Be proud.

  88. Ion said:

    Be sure to tell all the folks at Knight Ridder we said hi!

  89. USAR LTC in NY said:


    I’ve thought I was picking up on an anti-US military attitude when reading the McClatchy news articles from Iraq…this seems to confer that at least one of their reporters has a serious case of anti-military bias.

    The Soldier’s job is to guard the check point. Sounds like he was doing his job. I’m proud of him.

    This reporter is a jerk who ought to go cover Hollywood where the egos are on par with his own.

  90. J. Chandler said:

    I wish I’d been that soldier. You would have had a difficult time typing this blog entry with your broken fingers up your dumb ass.

  91. KenK said:

    Perhaps he thought you were claiming to be the Night Rider but knew that the Night Rider was dead - plus was only a character in Max Max.

    What a idiot you are.

  92. TimM said:

    I wonder if the folks at McLatchy know about this clown?

  93. frank said:

    You couldn’t be a bigger jerk if you tried.

  94. Bobn said:

    Shit, Bobby

    I’m going to bookmark you. I’ve never got to read the ramblings of such an asshat before. Hell, Rather and Foer are pikers compared to you.
    Bring on more of that J-skool rhythm and I’ll put the popcorn on.

    Have a nice day killer.

  95. Mitchelle said:

    WOW! Reporters like you explain why McClatchy’s stock price is hitting multi-year lows. Keep up the great work and you could be running them into bankruptcy.

  96. Kelly said:

    At this point I feel like I’m piling on, but what the heck. This was an embarrassing post to read. I sincerly hope you now realize you are not on a Hollywood movie set, but in a real war zone. If you are new over there, maybe this post is proof the surge is working since you think it’s okay to skip in and out of the green zone without proper ID. Try getting on a plane without proper ID! Security would have hauled your butt away.

  97. Liz985 said:

    I have to wonder if this is all a joke and if this guy might be just having everyone on. This post is just so absolutely stupid and arrogant. Oh, wait. That’s right. He’s a “journalist.” Never mind.

  98. John Oh said:

    Don’t listen to all these unsophisticated people. They just don’t understand modern journalism. You got the story. That’s what counts right? No matter what you have to do — get the story.

    Congratulations. You are the story.

  99. KenK said:

    Max Max s/b Mad Max

    ps. Honor and Media Badge don’t go together very often.

  100. Patrick said:

    I can’t improve on exurban’s comment, so I will repeat it with attribution:

    Look at the bright side, kid. Every guard in the U.S. Military will know EXACTLY who you are from here on out.

    Have fun with that.

  101. clarice said:

    Did you get one of those neat safari jackets with all those pockets for this excellent adventure?
    A journalism degree..oh my. I’m really impressed!

  102. Donovan said:

    Fret no more. I hope your editor has the good sense to pull you out of Iraq immediately, and upon arrival in Sacramento have you escorted out of the building.

  103. Malcom Stevens said:

    A high school kid knocked on the door a few hours ago. Wanted me to subscribe to the San Fran Chronicle (Hearst or should i write ‘heist’ - hah hah hah ;-) so he could get a scholarship to attend Cal State Hayward. I told him “no” stating:
    (1) the main stream media is dying
    (2) easier to go ROTC to go directly to college after high school, avoid the Cal System “impacted” class BS
    (3) consider enlisting in military for GI Bill
    … either way far better than whoring oneself for dead tree subscriptions

    Thought I ‘d let you media types know that.

  104. Mike Kliethermes said:

    I served proudly in the US Army for 8 years. I fondly remember the story of a 4 star general (in civilian clothes) being knocked face first to the ground after he refused to show his proper credentials and demanding to be let into a secure area. In this case however the general knew he was in the wrong, and promptly promoted the soldier the very next day. Why? For doing his bloody job and having the guts to stand up to arrogant whack jobs like you. I doubt however that your ego will let you promptly apologize for your sneering arrogance.

    Since you apparently wrote down his name, why don’t you track him down and apologize for your stupidity, or are you to arrogant to be bothered by such trivial issues? After all, since you were apparently concerned for your safety why don’t you show some respect to the people who are protecting you.

  105. John Bergquist said:

    You are worth less than the sweat off the soldier’s balls that you write about. What an awful example of the U.S. you present to the world with this blog post. I can only imagine how terrible you are in person. I hope McClatchy fires you for your rude and irresponsible conduct. With all the problems in Iraq, we certainly don’t want you walking around there interacting with anyone. You shame yourself, your country, your employer, your family, your profession, etc… just by being you.

  106. Drew Cloutier said:

    Dude, I can’t believe how all of these commenters like don’t get it. I’m with you. You were being hassled by The Man and you were like so cool. I hate it when I like go to an airport and those TSA yahoos are all like, “Take your computer out of your bag” and “Take of your shoes off” and sh*t like that. Like, whatz their problem. Its not like I’m Richard effing Reid. Next time that happens to me, I’m like going to go all Bobby Calvan on their asses. I’ll pretend like I’m taking down their names (they’ll sh*t their pants at that just like I bet that solider did). I’ll make a press Knight Ridder pass up on my computer (dude, I wish I had a real one like you) and yell “What the hell good is this if I have to be treated like an effing terrorist.” I’ll tell them that I work for a big corporation where we all drive talking cars and they are just peons who probably didn’t graduate from high school. Man, you’re my hero. All these damn Chimpy McHitlerburton clones pretending like they are protecting us when all they are doing is oppressing us. Ignore all of these commenters and just keeping on being you.

  107. E. O'Neal said:

    An ass-hole like you should be working for the NYT or WaPo.

  108. Mike Winker said:

    Wow. I have never seen such a spectacular crash and burn. If you didn’t disgust me so much the hilarity of this post and these comments would overwhelm me.
    It was pointed out before but I need the repeat this: You actually thought this post would make you look good. Stunning. Incredible. Moronic. None of these words come close. Please, somebody, help me out and give me a word that describes just how big a douchebag this guy is.

  109. tyree said:

    My nephew is in Iraq. He can parachute out of many different aircraft, lower himself from a rope from a hovering helicopter, is an expert with many different firearms, including a snipers rifle. He has been a tank driver and a drill instructor, and he plays three different musical instruments. He has had the pleasure of having Generals remark that they are jealous of the medals on his uniform. Maybe he has heard of Knight Ridder, maybe he hasn’t. He has, however, gotten shot at so that Steven Freeman has the freedom to be a jerk in front of the whole world.

    Steve, buddy, just so you are clear on this:
    It is not the journalist who gave us freedom of the press, it was the soldier.

  110. GarandFan said:

    “Do you know who I am?” Yeah, a self-important asshole.

  111. Carl H said:

    Good luck to the GI’s. Bad luck to Senor Hissyfit.

  112. Roger Stalker said:

    Your thoughtless, arrogant, actions are indicative of an self-important, boorish idiot. I shall never again give a penny to any McClatchy publication as long as you are in their employ.

  113. Crankshaft said:

    I see that everyone beat me to it, but you are so full of yourself, I can’t help but get on the bandwagon. You are the reason 99% of us detest and find repulsive the people who call themselves “reporters.”

    I noticed several mention my thoughts already, but the two that stuck out so much were 1) You need to publish the soldiers name because we need more heroes and he would qualify. 2) You are no Michael Yon.

    Grow up you pompous and arrogant asshole.

  114. Chris said:

    Paragraph three, second sentence: the word is ‘pat down’, jerk. You call yourself a writer?

  115. Joe said:

    It is unacceptable for this a$$hat to risk his safety by walking a distance away from the checkpoint to turn on his cell phone and clear the matter up, but is perfectly acceptable to demand that the soldier risk his safety and everyone else in the Green Zone to let some pushy clown without proper credentials in?

    Good luck getting thru checkpoints once this story gets around. It should be an eye opening experience.

  116. Duke Martin said:

    You are lucky that soldier was well trained and in control of himself, I was in the military and I assure you I would have jumped at the chance to shoot you. The fact that a misfit like you even has a job at all says more about the Media than any of us care to know. God, but you are an awful man and I think even less of you because you had the hubris to actually publish this.

  117. Matthew said:

    All I can do is shake my head in disbelief at your stupidity and arrogance. Did it ever cross your self-centered little mind that nobody cares who or what Knight-Ridder is? You are in the middle of a war zone and you think you’re special? Please. Get a grip on reality. Hopefully someone at the Sacramento Bee (and maybe at Knight-Ridder or McClatchy, too) will realize what a wonderful job you’re doing of representing them to the international community with your arrogant, egotistical, childish “Me” attitude and just terminate your employment. I doubt you’d be missed in the so-called journalistic world and I would imagine there are some who would welcome your dismissal.

  118. TheNewGuy said:

    Don’t even start fooling yourself with the idea these vitriolic comments are the result of some blog-generated astro-turf.

    This is the real deal. All the commenters here really do think you made an absolute ass of yourself… and you did.

    Go apologize to that soldier. Go on… you know you owe it to him, so be man enough to actually do it. You might earn some respect.

  119. Matt said:

    This is incredible. Every other week some member of the press is reporting on how unsafe the Green Zone is. Despite all the current security issues you find the sheer audacity to criticize those who entrusted with providing the security that does exist.

    The men at those checkpoints serve long, difficult hours, doing a mostly thankless job. You seem so incredibly proud of yourself for being ignorant of the current restrictions and requirements, and beyond that you seem to desire approval for bullying those that protect you.

    You sir are an embaressment. If Knight Ridder had any sense, they’d kick you to the curb.

  120. Jonathan E. said:

    This may indeed be the most in-agreement comments section in the history of the internets. And thanks to KenK for the Mad Max reference (link goes to clip):

    I am the niiiight rider!”

  121. SomeoneLaughingAtYou said:

    I’ve never seen someone publicly emasculate themselves before.

    I almost spewed my drink out of my nose when I saw the comment based off of Real Ultimate Power.

  122. HitNRun said:

    I love how the soldier who is charged with protecting the life of the journalist and everyone in the Green Zone is portrayed as a snooty waiter.

    If you died in the Green Zone, Bobbie, because the soldier went lax or was intimidated by your newspaper’s insignificant holding company, the only way he would escape responsibility would be if he died in the same blast.

  123. Pointless said:

    Habibi, you’re lucky the guy in charge of the check point was the mindless, uneducated, happy-go lucky boob he obvioulsy was. I know of Knight-Ridder News Service and perhaps could have told you that it had been sold, as I detained you and then moved you a safe distance from innocent bystanders in anticipation of the explosion I suspected you were trying to cause. Bullying may work in countries with authoritarian regimes or in companies with tyrannical management climates, but for a lot of better-adjusted people, it just reeks of an attempt to get something to which you are not entitled or for which you are not willing to work. Obviously, there are hundreds of ways to handle this situation, too bad you chose one that will not give you any wiggle room in the future. As a new guy on the block, you should be trying to make contacts and find some places to cultivate good (and beneficial) relationships. Had you shown patience and been a cool guy, found a nice way to satisfy an ID requirement that he was required to enforce, and then maybe done something like do a short character interview or later drop off some complimentary goody, you would have a guy who would know and remember you for the rest of his time there and would probably have no trouble letting in someone he knows well, even if he gets seperated from his ID once in a while. Plus he may be a friend of someone who is a friend of someone who can give you info for a REAL story, not a rant. But, hey, you get more chances to do it right. Try a different approach, if only as a psychology experiment or somethng. You may find one that is good for all, and you may get more in return than you expect, to include some genuine respect. Good luck, be careful, and don’t try the masgouf unless you know where it really came from. ;-)

  124. Rob said:

    You are a worthless piece of shit. In fact you make other pieces of shit look valuable and worthwhile by comparison. If you think you are so tough and important why don’t you give up your body guard when you’re outside of the Green Zone next? I’m sure the terrorists will find your credentials bullet proof after they prove you aren’t. Or they may instead have you don an orange jumpsuit so you can star in the next hajji youtube ginsu testimonial. I can assure you that if you do that will be the most popular news item you will ever be involved in.

    The soldier was doing his job to ensure the security for his check point, his fellow soldiers, and all the folks in the Green Zone, all relying on him to do his job. And you, a worthless pantywaist, take advantage of the fact that you knew you wouldn’t get the rifle butt smash to your smarmy mouth that you deserve so you could act like a big shot wannabe. We’re all impressed.

    Please do your profession and humanity a favor and go try to interview some live IED’s.

  125. SomeoneLaughingAtYou said:

    Speaking of Real Ultimate Power, I think the only way you could expiate the shame you have brought onto yourself is to commit sepukku with a frisbee.

  126. Stosh2 said:

    So, are you able to learn from your experience or will you contine to be an asshole?

  127. Steve Krueger said:

    You are a punk and I wish I would of been at that ECP. You would of recieved my extra special treatment for arrogant reporters. Loser!!!!

  128. LuciferSam said:

    …and the most beautiful part is that this diva reporter couldn’t wait to write up the thrilling tale of how he stood up to that ignorant American soldier (they’re “the absolute worst,” don’t you know) who dared to expect an employee of Knight Ridder to carry necessary identification in a war zone. Britney Spears is on the phone, and she wants to say thanks for making her only the second biggest embarrassment on the internet today.

  129. jschool bobby said:

    don’t tase me, bro

  130. Scott said:

    I believe the French have a term for people like you: prique. You should be ashamed of yourself; most people left that kind of behavior behind in junior high.

  131. Michael said:

    If you happen to grow old enough to realize what an asshole you are today, you should look up that soldier and thank him. He saw something in you worth saving that escapes me.

  132. Seven Machos said:

    You are a total tool. There just isn’t anything else to say.

  133. GeekSquad said:

    Doesn’t this dick warrent Keith Olberman’s “Worst Perosn of the Day” award?

  134. Major John said:


    Really - please take a fresh look at what you are writing here. Third World soldiers are better because you couldn’t go outside the wire without remembering proper ID? The “don’t you know who I am” stuff does not reflect great credit on the titanic business venture you work for either (I mean, former owners of the awe inspiring Rockford Register Star, wow!!!11!1!).

    Take a fresh look at what you wrote tomorrow, and think about it anew.

  135. Rob said:

    You really are a silly little twit. Get over yourself.

  136. Mark said:

    Don’t listen to these guys, man!


    Like I’m totally serious, man.

    Totally, like peace out.

  137. nature223 said:

    well calvin…as an American..allow me to say….KUDOS TO OUR GREAT SOLDIERS SAILORS,AIRMEN AND MARINES….
    and,I’m glad to hear they blew you off as an self important obnoxious little prick…..who was beneath their contempt,as they did their profession,and secured your safety…you ungrateful little shit

  138. sigsshooter said:

    Wow what an amazingly intelligent person you are, proving that any idiot can get into the greenzone if he tries hard enough, and shows his ass enough. Do you feel better now after showing that poor soldier how smart you are?
    I hope Knight Ridder’s Editors read all of these comments to really get a feel for the kind of person you are and the type of integrity and character they have working for them.
    Good Luck

  139. beez said:

    Ladies & Gentleman, we have here the VERY definition of the Ugly American!! If this is how he treats his own countrymen, imagine how he’ll treat Iraqis. No wonder the rest of the world has such a low opinion of us with guys like this running around DEMANDING people know him and do his immediate bidding.

    Nice job. You thought about a State Dept career?

  140. COB6 said:

    What a completely useless POS. You wouldn’t make a pimple on the ass of those very men that you denegrate with your so-called higher enlightenment. Why didn’t you want to go outside the wire to power up your cellphone? And who in the hell would you have called first if your sorry ass came under fire? The Ugandans? Not likely Vagina boy. More here:

  141. Major John said:

    Oh, and pretending that you were taking the soldier’s name down…? That wouldn’t amount to a fart in a thunderstorm to any of us. I can only imagine your complaint to this soldier’s NCOIC or OIC - “but he wouldn’t let me in because I didn’t have proper ID!”. Sounds like you just gave the reason for a nice impact AAM to be awarded. Heh.

  142. Scott said:

    I believe the French have a term for your kind: prique. You should be ashamed of your behavior instead of bragging about it on your blog. Most people I know left that kind of behavior in junior high.

    You are a sad, arrogant, self-righteous excuse for a man.

  143. David said:

    You are an arrogant fool. The soldier chose to insult is putting his life on the line every day to keep your worthless ass safe inside the green zone.

    Try reading Michael Yon to see what real combat reporters are like.

  144. The Last Patriot said:

    Wow! How astoundingly dense of that young man! Imagine, some “too dumb to do anything else with his life” displays his ignorance and arrogance in such a manner! (And the soldier at the check point was probably as amazed as myself witnessing such ass-hattery.)
    Well, things in theater must be going pretty well if this is all you have to spout off about. Why wasn’t that your lede? “Nothing is really happening here that fits the left’s meta-narrative and I don’t have the cajones to just make shit up to make the military look bad like the rest of my colleagues.” Yup. You are quite the professional douchebag. Be proud. Embrace your estrogen levels.

  145. lowandslow said:

    And to make things worse for old Bobby boy is Franklin Foer and a few others from TNR will be out hunting those all elusive media jobs.

  146. jamrat said:

    When you said that that part about having nothing to lose…did you use your Clint Eastwood voice?

  147. Maurice said:

    Jeebus Bobby, I didn’t think anyone could be this big a shit head, but we can all thank you for proving me wrong. So let’s review:

    You showed up at a US checkpoint to enter the Green Zone and you didn’t have the right ID to get in, yet as an arrogant little prick with an oversized ego you just assumed that the lowly GI on duty should bend down and kiss your feet while you waltzed in unchallenged instead of actually do his job?

    Bobby, far be it from me to wish physical harm on anyone, but if a piece of shrapnel from an IED or suicide bomber caught you in the crotch and removed you from future contributions to the gene pool, it wouldn’t really bother me a bit.

  148. SteveU said:

    From your blog, it looks like you’ve been there a week. That might explain why this reads like a letter home from summer camp. By the way, I think you meant Machu Pikachu.

  149. Eric said:

    Your embarrassed management should bring you home to interview California fire victims about how they feel on losing their homes. That’s about the level of journalistic employment you seem qualified for. Or, perhaps your editors will be outraged at your treatment and have that GI disciplined. Wouldn’t surprise me.

  150. fretless said:

    Night Rider sucks. Baywatch is a lot better.

    Oh, and dude … you totally suck.

  151. Gustave said:

    In an earlier post from Amman — almost equally embarrassing, albeit for different reasons — he says he’s been in journalism for nearly two decades. Apparently, then, he has the better part of twenty years’ experience to learn how to become as graceless, clueless and classless as this.

  152. Jonathan E. said:

    Honestly, you think this reporter’s going to take any of this to heart? The bit about the “pad [sic] down with benefits” was all the way up in the third graf.

  153. Ron Coleman said:

    Does anyone think this fellow will actually reconsider his views on the matter as a result of these comments?

    I think, in fact, that he will be more certain than ever of himself, and, in the near future — perhaps in a different job — he will say so.

    Maybe he’ll prove me wrong, but I wouldn’t bet against me here.

  154. David Gulliver said:

    When I was at McClellan AFB in Sacramento, we were all told we couldn’t enter secure areas without our proper credentials. You know what? We quickly discovered that, when you left something at home, you couldn’t go past the line. Didn’t matter who you were. Full bird colonels who accidentally left a badge at home didn’t come through the door. And guess what? They never, ever tried to pull some cockamamie “don’t you know who I am?” crap. They just smiled, apologized, turned, and went back to retrieve said proper credentials.

    Want to guess why they never acted out?


    That was Sacramento. In peacetime. You’re in a freaking war zone, you idiot! How is a guard supposed to know you are who you say you are and some suicide bomber, or some foreign spy?

    You should be ashamed of yourself. And your employer should be ashamed of you, too.

  155. J Lewelling said:

    Wow! This may be the best post I’ve read this year. Nothing else comes close to encapsulating the combination of arrogance and cluelessness that represents journalism today!

    Thank you Bobby! You will suffer the ridicule of the world for this incredibly pompous posting. You will never live it down, but it is giving all of us out here a great chuckle!

    “Nothing to lose” indeed!

  156. Scott Lahna said:

    Sir, you are a jackass. Do you really wonder why the troops don’t want you embedding with them? Call your bosses at McClatchy and beg forgiveness for making them look even more stupid than ever. Good luck covering high school sports for the rest of your career.

  157. Paul said:

    It is sad that Rebecca Aguilar has set a standard that other reporters are trying to live down to.

    There must be something about journalism classes that drain all the decency, empathy, and courtesy out of the students.

    It is unfortunate for that journalists must be sent to cover news stories, and not human beings.

  158. Adrian Alejandro said:

    Call Franklin Foer, I think they’re hiring.

  159. mike d. said:

    i am sickened but not the least bit surprised that the newspaper of my hometown of 35 years would employ a reporter like this. a witless dolt.
    if he is a day over 30 i will eat my hat.

    Mr. Calvan, theres is nothing i could add in the way of beautiful
    eloquent comeuppance, received and earned that hasnt already been said
    by your commenters tonight. but i will try:

    whiny, petulant, idiotic, self centered, tone-deaf. shockingly, unbelievably so.

    what does this behavior say about your editorial judgement??? how do you expect me to trust anything you ever write for the Bee or any other media outlet if you are not man enough to conduct yourself with professionalism and human courtesy while on assignment?

    i know one or two Bee reporters…few remain after the Night of Long Knives…
    and i know many more from the Chron and LAT etc. i will ask them who you are and what can be done about your obvious problem.

    One thing I am sure of: Your story was a big hit in the newsroom. A Huge hit.

    But your reportorial integrity and judgment are totally comprimised.
    and the Bee should suspend you until you make some serious amends for how you conducted yourself at the checkpoint.

  160. The Famous Duke said:

    wittle newspaper jackass gawt his feewings hurt. Too fucking bad.

  161. i4cu2 said:

    I hope you do track down the guard and apologize. I also hope you make another entry and explain what a beat down like this on your own blog feels like. Simpatico!

  162. malclave said:

    Perhaps his chuckles stemmed from memories of the 1980s television show “Night Rider.”
    Never heard of that show. IMDB lists it as a show in 1979, though.

    I would suspect, though, that if referencing a TV show, the soldier was more likely referencing the 1980s series “Knight Rider”.

    My question, though, is, are you referencing the 1970s television show “Night Rider”, or the 1980s show “Knight Rider”? Not that I expect a Knight Ridder “journalist” to get even basic facts straight…

  163. baconboy said:

    Hey, for all of the people who are referring to this journalist as some kind of young, inexperienced journalist, you might want to check out some of his other posts. He says that he’s been in journalism for 20 years, so that means he must be at least in his early 40s. Apparently some people never grow out of adolescent narcissism.

    By the way, I saw from his first post that he is going to see his mother for her 80th birthday in the Philippines. It is unfortunate that he has brought shame on her as well. If I wrote something like this my mother would be appalled.

  164. What’s Lower than a Trial Lawyer? « fretless fascinations said:

    […] this on Instapundit.  The comments make it all worth […]

  165. Jason Allen said:

    Hey,remember when Cheney called that reporter a major league asshole? Well,welcome to the team.

  166. Phoenix said:

    I wish I could say something that hasn’t been said already, but it wouldn’t matter because you probably won’t even read all this. Please do not insult the very people that are protecting you. Maybe you should just go away. You are the reason I hate the MSM.

  167. Tom Villars said:

    This is just further proof that journalist truly are a different species.

  168. owlish said:

    Interesting. 150 comment currently, all either directly saying you’re a jerk or a few seemingly sarcastic. Let’s make it 151:

    You’re a jerk.

    I took a look around the rest of your blog. Hope your DVDs of your favorite french movies and your canned smoked oysters remind you of home. Oh, and from your first post:

    “I’m still looking for my initiation into being a foreign correspondent — will reporting mostly from a hotel room count?”

    It’ll count for the NYT, which is why a large proportion of the population of the US doesn’t trust them, or you. You might look into some other possible career options for the future, as “journalism” is going to change, whether or not you believe it.

  169. Andy Roark said:

    This page is the stuff of Internet legend: ranking up there with and that Ebay auction of the guy wearing the wedding dress. When this overdramatic pinhead figures out he is the single greatest thing to happen to the Internet in months he’ll yank this blog down and try to scrub the evidence.


    Everyone save this page early and often. Someone will end up getting it right before Mr. Hasselhoff removes it and we’ll be able to enshrine it in the Internet Asshat Hall of Fame in the Library of Congress in a few decades.

    We cannot let our Internet Heritage die!

  170. Thomas Hazlewood said:

    I’ve read all the comments here. Unless you are totally obtuse you should acknowledge that what you perceive and what others perceive places your judgement in question.

    You have not challenged ‘The Man’. You are not an iconoclast. You’re not even Richard Pearl.

    You were unprepared to display the required identification, as a professional would be. You were incapable of disguising your frustration, as a mature adult would. You were unable to refrain from issuing petulant threats to a man who lives, daily, under threat of his very life. You were blind to how petty your threats to him were by comparison. You seem very much to be the Paris Hilton of the journalism set.

  171. Victor Erimita said:

    That GI didn’t know who Knight Ridder was , but a lot more people know who they are now, thanks to you. Yes, they are yet another conglomerated Old Media dinosaur wheezing down the tubes of financial oblivion and intellectual irrelevance, led on by self-righteous little wankers from J-school. You guys are all alike. You’re like a 23-year old living over his Dad’s garage and telling all your friends about how you really told your dad off about how he earns his money. Hope your pals in the hotel bar back in the Green Zone got some good laughs over your “So I sez to da guy” story, while the soldier is out risking life and limb every day. Yeah, you’re a great gang. Willfully clueless, stubbornly adolescent. All “‘tude” and no heart. No character. Congrats to Knight Ridder for hiring you. You’re perfect for the job.

  172. The Famous Duke said:

    Thomas Hazlewood said:

    You seem very much to be the Paris Hilton of the journalism set.


    You mean he blows guys on videotape? Wow…

  173. Jeff Medcalf said:

    You know, some people’s function in life — their reason, as it were, for existing — is simply to provide a negative examples for others. Congratulations on finding your calling so young.

  174. Bruce said:

    Bobby, Bobby, Bobby … I bet you wish you could just make this post of yours go away, don’t you? You’ll wake up tomorrow, holding your head in your hands like the drunk you went on with your heroic “journalist” buddies, walk into a press room with others like you laughing under their breath, and just go ….”That was just a dream. Just a dream. I didn’t write that!”

    But it won’t be a dream, clown - it’s there, and everyone knows what an utter azzhole you are. An arrogant, self important little prick not fit to carry the Class A’s of that brave soldier.


  175. areporter said:


    Seriously, we’re not all like this.

  176. J Lewelling said:

    Hey everybody, you’d better watch it!

    That’s Bobby Caina Calvan that you’re talking to!


  177. docweasel said:

    This post will go down in history as the first comments thread to completely unite all the disparate individuals on the internet in one, unified opinion: Bobby Calvan is an asshole.

    To beclown yourself so publicly and thoroughly is truly an achievement to envy. I predict that (for a week at least) this will become the most linked and scorned blog entry ever.

    Again, my congratulations, Bobby “Asshat” Calvan.

    Good luck in your search for future employment when you are ignominiously called back to the home office and fired, probably even as I type this.

  178. Alex said:

    Congratulations on completely and utterly making a fool of yourself, Bobby. Your name may even become an Internet verb when this is all over with. Until then, however, I suggest you read some Kipling:

    Yes, makin’ mock o’ uniforms that guard you while you sleep
    Is cheaper than them uniforms, an’ they’re starvation cheap

  179. thebronze said:

    I guess I can’t really add anything that the other 163 poster haven’t already said.

    You’re probably too arrogant to be ashamed, but you should be.


  180. Artbyruth said:

    Hear that “ticking” sound??

    It’s the clock running out on your career…..

    I doubt you will have a job with your paper after this story. Sheesh, what an elitist idiot you are.

    You need to apologize to that soldier…and not the usual Liberal apology either, “If I offended anyone, I am sorry…”


  181. Mike said:

    You should have just told him you write for Drudge or Instapundit. Places like that are much more relevant than old media like Knight Rider.

  182. David Gulliver said:

    Heh heh heh… funny thing is, because of the time change, he probably hasn’t seen this post in several hours and has no idea what will be waiting for him next time he logs on…


  183. Andrew C said:

    Someone screen cap this blog entry before he takes it down (either voluntarily or at the demand of his bosses) [oops, I see Andy Roark just gave the same advice]

    Bobby, you’re a megadouchebag. Enjoy your fame and your forthcoming unemployment. This blog will live forever whether you like it or not. And don’t come back tomorrow and say it was all a joke, because you’ll then be an arrogant douche AND a liar.

  184. Mike said:

    I hope that after you realize how pompous and foolish you were, you will take stock of what’s going on around you and start reporting the incredible accomplishments of our soldiers and Marines. Get out of the Green Zone and embed with the troops in areas where there is still fighting. Learn to appreciate how blessed we are to have men like these protecting us. It’s forgivable to start out foolish. Most of us do, just not so publicly. This can be a chance for you to gain maturity and perhaps wisdom and patriotism.

  185. Andrew C said:

    I just archived it [October 24, 2007, 11:25 PM Central USA time]

  186. Toby Petzold said:

    Ha, ha! Is this comment thread a joke? I’ve never seen such a parade of ways to call someone the self-loathing anti-American propagandist he is. Wow.

  187. Barbara said:

    You wrote, With nothing to lose, I decided to get pushy. I may be wrong, but I suspect you get pushy no matter what the situation. What a self-absorbed little prig you are. As they say back home, Small Man, Big Hat. You aren’t qualified to wipe the sand off the boots of the Man With The Gun, as you so smugly refer to him. I take small comfort in the fact that because you spelled armor, armour, that perhaps you are not an American. You do, however, seem to be The Absolute Worst.

  188. SWLiP said:

    I live in Miami. I’ve heard of the Miami Herald (though I cancelled my subscription nearly a decade ago — can’t say I’ve missed it). I’ve even heard of Knight Ridder and McClatchy.

    It shouldn’t surprise me that a McClatchy reporter is so full of himself (how old are you — about 13?), but this is off the scale. I can only assume that this arrogant asshole feels comfortable posting this kind of blog entry because, well, he knows that his colleagues at McClatchy all think the same way.

    You are everything that is wrong with the MSM, today.

  189. Hale Adams said:

    Whoa….. Instalanche!

    I second Major John’s comments. Oh, if only I were 24 years old and a lieutenant again….. I wish I had been the officer-in-charge of the guard detail and had witnessed this little incident.

    Mr. Calvan, it would have given me great pleasure to give my NCO-in-charge the order to remove your sorry butt from my area-of-operations. No doubt my NCOIC would have arranged for you to be frog-marched.

    To echo another commenter: I’m glad I’m 45, and not you.

  190. Jonathan E. said:

    What’s the difference between my 81 year-old mother getting a secondary screen at JFK, and Calvan’s 2 minute holdup at a Green Zone checkpoint?

    My mom doesn’t complain about it.

    This has got to be in Best of the Web Today tomorrow.

  191. sulla said:

    Reporter held up at checkpoint. Women, minorities hardest hit. Film at 11.

    To partially defend the “reporter”, he didn’t try to get physical, as Cynthia McKinney did with the Capitol Hill Police. But that’s a low, low bar to clear.

    Have your own stuff together, treat others with respect when you don’t, and you might be surprised how much further and faster you get. I don’t expect the press to be paragons of virtue, but a little civility goes a long way.

  192. Jim said:

    And after reading stuff like this, people still claim that the reports coming out of Iraq are unbiased. You are not fit to lick the shit off the toilet paper that private wipes with. If he was one of my soldier’s, he would be getting an AAM for that and I could only wish that I was the NCOIC for the ECP so I could deal with your ass myself. In case you didn’t understand why you are such a worthless ass, let me break it down for you:
    1) You didn’t have proper ID
    2) No you can’t use a Cell phone as its on of the most common IED triggers
    3) No one cares what newspaper you are with or who owns it so saying you are with one, especially with no way to prove it (and a press badge thats printable is not proof as it can easily be faked)
    4) You can’t type correctly, even blogger has spell check so you can’t be very good at your job
    5) That soldier is doing his job, and if you needed to be somewhere, maybe leave on time!
    6) If you do get upset at a checkpoint like that, the soldiers are within their rights to restrain (see: tag & bag) you until they are sure who you are and why you are there

    I have more but I don’t feel like enumerating why you suck at life, if I was you, i would donate all monies accrued from being worthless in Iraq, donate them to disabled veterans and the children of deceased veterans (you know the guys that died to keep your sorry butt from harm) and become a monk, or a police officer, or firefighter, or anything that can be considered a worthwhile occupation since you now own this country a debt for your horrible actions

  193. Bobby Calvan does the impossible: Unites the entire internet in the belief he’s an asshole « docweaselblog said:

    […] The World’s Biggest Asshat Blogs His Asshattery […]

  194. justin said:

    Interesting that you were afraid of standing out in the open as a target but not afraid of an american soldier. Gee, if only the americans were as cool as those other guys, terrorists might be able to get in too.
    /do I really have to mention U R STUPID!

  195. baldilocks said:

    Most of those who work for Big Media organizations don’t know jack about the military and its organizations. Why would you all expect the opposite?

  196. Tantor said:

    It looks like all the commenters ahead of me have said all the obvious things, things too obvious for you to understand in your confrontation with this soldier. Still, it’s worth saying once more how arrogant and self-important you come off in this article which lacks any self-awareness at all. No, most Americans don’t know what Knight-Ridder is because most Americans don’t read newspapers any more because of journalists like you. It’s pretty foolish for you to expect somebody to know who owns your paper.

    The fact is, you know Knight-Ridder because it’s your business. My business has to do with JavaScript. Do you know who makes that? If you don’t, does that make you an idiot? If you never heard of that soldier’s unit, would that make you an idiot?

    Another thing you might consider, you snot-nose little punk, is that even by your own account, that soldier came off as more professional than you.

  197. Open Channel D said:

    Dear Bobby,
    If you’ve made it this far down the comments, dry your eyes, hike up your big girl panties and PAY ATTENTION!
    You’ve done the journalistic equivilant of whipping out your very short peter in front of a Delta Delta Delta sorority (apologies to tri-delts). No girl on campus will have you now and that big McClatchey girl? She’s gonna Elspeth Reeve drop you faster than you can say Scotty friggin’ Beauchamp.

    Still, it was a good run for you. You actually got somebody to pay you for that sniveling little diatribe. On second thought, better cash that check at the all night liqour store before the banks open up in the AM.